My journey through ttc with infertility, so far

Who I am

I'm Meg. I'm 30 years old, and teach middle school science (7th grade). Before that, I worked for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration as a field scientist. I started subbing to supplement my income, fell in love with the kids and teaching, got my certification, quit my NOAA job, and became a full-time teacher at the same school I first fell in love with. I still absolutely love it. 

I also have PCOS, in spite of having always been at a healthy weight and having no family history of this condition or ANY fertility issues (most adult members of my family have at least 3 kids), and my husband has fertility issues as well (for his privacy, I won't go into details on him--but suffice it to say his problem appears to be mild / only "subfertile"). We've been trying to conceive (ttc) for over 1 year (according to us), or over 2 years (according to my Reproductive Endocrinologist, who says we've been trying ever since I stopped using any real form of birth control). I've had at least 2 miscarriages, one with my husband and one over 10 years ago with a different partner (before my husband and I were together, of course). I'll tell more about this later. I also have Crohn's disease and hypoglycemia, which complicates things a little more.

DISCLAIMER 1: I'm not religious, so any decisions I make throughout the course of my treatment will be based on my belief in what is right for me, my husband, and any potential babies I may carry. If you have very strong feelings about sensitive subjects such as reduction (which I hope I'll never have to experience), this may not be a blog you want to follow. I have nothing against people who are religious, or who have different views than me; I just don't want a bunch of criticism during this difficult period of my life.

DISCLAIMER 2: I am, first and foremost, a scientist. I don't subscribe to any notions of homeopathy or other treatments that haven't demonstrated clear benefits in published, peer-reviewed double-blind studies. If you're looking for experiences with alternative medicine, this probably isn't the blog for you.

Why I'm Writing This

1. I recently stumbled upon a blog from another educator all about her journey through infertility treatments, pregnancy, and birth (http://trying-for-baby.blogspot.com/). I found it more helpful and encouraging than any book I've read. Unfortunately, the blog is from 10 years ago, and I haven't been able to find too many others like it. Maybe no one will ever read this. I don't know. I've never really blogged before. But maybe, just maybe, my story can help someone else the way that blog helped me. 
2. I've been reading Unsung Lullabies. I don't agree with or relate to everything in the book, but it recommends keeping a journal as I navigate through infertility. That seemed wise. I'm always composing "journal entries" in my head, so I thought I'd try actually writing them out.
3. As an introvert, I could really use some support from others who're going through this. Infertility is so hard to talk about with people I know. Anyone who hasn't gone through it can't understand, and often don't know what to say, and feel awkward. That just makes me feel more isolated. Maybe others will stumble on this and have something to say, some advice, some genuine understanding and helpful encouragement. That would help so much right now. I use the Glow app, and have made a few friends there, but for some reason if feels selfish to write too much about myself on one of those boards. I thought this might feel a little more "free".

What this will be

In my next few posts, I'll describe my journey up to this point. After that, I'll update on any treatments I receive, document how they've affected me physically and emotionally, try to figure out how I'm feeling (which has always been difficult for me, especially since we've been ttc--I feel numb much of the time) and why. If I become pregnant, I'll document my pregnancy as well. 

A quick note about all of this: I'm not good at judging what is "TMI", so if you're squeamish, again, this might not be the blog for you. I'm also not great at predicting what others will find upsetting, so please forgive me and let me know if something I say is insensitive. I'm really trying to improve in that area.

To anyone actually reading this...

Thank you, and please let me know. If I have interested readers, I'll be much more motivated to keep this going. I'll post at least once per week, probably more often if I know someone is reading, as time allows, and depending on any new developments.